Welcome to Nathan's Cancer Journey

This blog is a reposting of Nathan's Caringbridge page which we updated throughout his battle with Neuroblastoma.

Nathan was born on June 16, 2000, diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma on April 1, 2003 and died on July 29, 2007.

I have posted the journal here to make it easier to look up by date and also to be able to easily add pictures to the journal entries.

Some of the pictures go along with the text, but many of the pictures you will see were pictures taken on the same date the journal was added, even if the pictures have nothing to do with the text. In the future I may add additional journal entries to go along with pictures to add more explanation/memories.

I am just getting started posting the years of entries and so this will be incomplete for some time. I hope to eventually also post the guestbook entries by date as a comment on the post.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 7:48 PM CDT

/* Friday 8am
Luke here doing a short top post. Nathan had his CT scan yesterday. He did great, as always. It is almost not worth mentioning anymore. He just automatically goes where he needs to go and does what he needs to do. We are, of course, a little nervous any time we do the "scan thing" and appreciate everyone's well wishes. I don't know if we will get a preliminary report today or not. We will post information when we get it.
*/

Nathan started chemo yesterday afternoon and is doing just fine. So far there has been no nausea or diarrhea. I ran around yesterday trying to get a special adapter for his inhaler. I wasn't able to get it until today - but Tammy, our wonderful day care provider ;) - had one for her daughter and so she showed us how to use it. It didn't go to well because Nathan didn't really get the idea of taking a large breath in. Today I was just way to tired to attempt it again and so I am waiting for Luke to help since he has the expertise the the whole thing.

Last night after leaving the kids at Tammy's I went to Nathan's back to school night. It was really informative and I was happy I made the effort to go. I am really impressed with his school, teacher and curriculum. He has 26 kids in his class - which seems like WAY too many for one teacher but somehow he does seem to be getting the attention he needs. I think he is fitting in OK with the class. He has had a few instances of kids pushing and that kind of thing - but also relates conversations he has had and one mom told me how much her son likes Nathan and that the day Nathan had to leave early her son was crying about it when she picked him up. So all in all it seems to be going just like Kindergarten should. I have been trying to set up a playdate with a boy in his class but with him starting chemo again this week it has not been able to happen yet.

Tomorrow is the Cat scan. I will have to go give him his oral contrast at 11:00 at school - but I am glad we were able to arrange it so he didn't miss any school.

Well - I really need to get the kids to bed. I just called for them and heard Julia saying something like "I'm not going anywhere right now!" in a very SNOTTY voice. So - it looks to be an unpleasant bedtime......

Monday, August 29, 2005

Monday, August 29, 2005 5:48 PM CDT

I guess I will start with medical and end with personal today.

Nathan's counts are great! It seems they were not really affected by the chemo. This is puzzling. We will never know how low they may have gotten between Wednesday and today - but they couldn't have even come near anything at all neutropenic. His doctor reminded me that the severity of the side effects does not have anything to do with how well the chemo is working - but he also did decide to up his dose on one of the chemos by 20%. Since his counts are so good he is going to start chemo again tomorrow instead of next week. He will go into the clinic tomorrow and then have it at home through Saturday. So - we will pretty much be stuck at home inthe afternoons this week - but at least we will be home and not int he clinic most of the week.

On Thursday Nathan has a CT scan to use as a "baseline" scan post-surgery. Please send prayers and positive thoughts for no suprises in it. As far as the leg pain - it seems to be gone. I hadn't asked Nathan about it and today he told the doctor it didn't hurt anymore but he couldn't remember when the pain had gone away.

One thing wearing on me currently is that in two weeks Nathan has lost .8 kilograms. This is almost 2 pounds. he currently weighs 37 pounds. He is 46 inches and so that is very, very skinny. Nothing really has happened in those two weeks to warrant the weight loss. His doctor syas it may be just htat his body is still fighting to keep weight on from the surgery and chemos. He wouldn't speculate further, but gave him a good physical exam - I think looking for any obvious reasons. Of course I am a worried that it may be caused by some bad thing....but I am trying to put that out of my mind. Meanwhile he suggested putting Nathan on pedisure. I will try - but Nathan does not drink a whole lot - and when he does they are small sips and I just know we won't be able to get much of that into him. I am hoping to find some other way to get extra calories in him.

On to the lungs. They sounded better today - however on an unrelated note his doctor heard some wheezing in his lungs. He asked if there was any family history of asthma. I told him Luke had bad childhood asthma. He said that often it starts with hearing it in the lungs before we ever hear the child wheeze. He wants to put him on an inhaler. I didn't get to talk in depth about that...like - is this a permanent thing or just as needed. He called in a prescription and I will bring it to the clnic tomorrow and they will show us how to use it. I figure I will take that time to ask more about the whole potential asthma thing. Frankly - I am a little overloaded with having three major things we were trying to figure out in one appointment.

Bottom line is - his counts are good, he feels good, he currently has a little cough, and he is very skinny. So - all in all - a fine state to be in and starting chemo early is a good thing in the cancer fight.

On to non-medical. We had a wonderful weekend in the mountains. My brother got married yesterday and we had a wonderful time with family. Luke even took the kids on a little hike to a waterful yesterday morning. He was so proud of them for not complaining about the walking and he really had a great time with them. Unfortunately, my current aches and pains in my pregnant state prevented me from joining them. Both kids were incredibly well-behaved for two long dinners, pictures, and ceremony. We had a very late drive home last night. The best I could do was stay awake until Luke had navigated the curvy mountain passes and then joined the kids asleep. A big thanks to Luke for cheerfully driving us all home late last night. Luke just left for a business trip. He will be home in time to take Nathan to his CT scan on Thursday since I cannot be in the CT room.

My current stress right now is INSURANCE! I am fighting to get the insurance corrected for both Julia and Nathan (Nathan's being from sometime in 2003!). Meanwhile bills are being sent to collection that are incorrect and so I don't want to pay them until they are fixed but I also don't want to ruin our credit. UGH! I HATE insurance. I am a CPA and have trouble sorting this all out.

So - I think that touches the tip of the iceburg anyway. Luke and I both are feeling like we are flying blind with Nathan. We don't know the current status of his disease - we don't know what what treatments he will be having. We don't know if every little tiny weird physical thing with him is cancer or not. It is not a fun place to be - so I just keep reminding myself to enjoy each day. That was especially easy to do this weekend with family and a wedding. Life goes on.....





































Saturday, August 27, 2005

Saturday, August 27, 2005 8:34 AM CDT

Nathan has had a good end of the week. He complained once about his leg - after he had gone to bed and he and Julia kept coming out of their rooms for this and that - so I don't really think it was anything much.

His cough is still there - but sporadic and not bothering him. He did well at school Thursday and Friday. His counts are probably down some but we won't find out until Monday.

We are off to the mountains today. We need nothing medical to arise this weekend while we are so far away from medical care. Please send your good thoughts our way.

The little boy, David, who was in the ICU with Nathan passed away on Thursday. We are heartbroken for his family. There are some other children in our cancer "family" who are on their last days. It is sobering. It reminds us that every day we have Nathan with us, despite what his future may hold, is precious. That goes for all the people we love.


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 8:15 PM CDT

Update - Wednesday August 24 4:58 PM MDT

Nathan woke up feeling much better this morning and I sent him to school. He had no problems at school and his cough is better. I took him to the clinic and the doctor thought his lungs sounded a little bad and so we went downstairs for an xray and he definately has something going on there. Who knows if it is viral or bacterial - but he has now had two rounds of IV antibiotics - so if it is bacterial it is being covered. He feels so much better today though. I am also glad there is a possible explanation for his fever yesterday - cancer kids and unexplained fever are not a good combination.

As far as the leg pain - the doctor wants to wait a little bit and see what happens. It seems to be right at the muscle and so a strange place.

If he continues to do well then he will not go back to the clinic until Monday. So - crossing our fingers!
************************************************
Well - I jinxed myself about the clinic because we were back today and will be tomorrow too. This morning Nathan was very tired when he got up. We figured it was from coughing a lot in the night. I cajoled him into going to school. I got a call at 9:30 that he was in the nurse's office and his leg hurt. I talked to him and asked him if he wanted to go back to class or for me to come get him. He said that what he wanted was for me to make it so he could have tylenol at school when he needs it. Then he said he would go back to class. They called again around 10:30 and his leg was hurting again so I went and got him. He had apparently not participated in anything all morning and after sitting on a basket in the gym watching the kids play it started hurting again.

I brought him home and he really seemed to just be tired. He was walking fine and not limping at all. I could move his leg any which way without it hurting. The place where his leg hurts is the top fo his right thigh- a weird place. Luke was finally able to isolate it. It didn't seem to be bothering him anymore unless we really pushed on it.

I had them have quiet time in ther beds and Nathan did fall asleep. When he woke up he had a temperature of 101 so I took him to the clinic. When we got there it was back down. They took blood cultures and gave him an antibiotic. His cough is still bad but his chest still sounds clear. They want to keep listening to it though. His white blood count is high indicating that his body is fighting off something. His temperature was back up a little bit before bed.

The leg thing - which is a separate issue - will be decided tomorrow. Nathan's regular oncologist was out but the other one thought that since he is so high risk we had probably try to figure out what is going on. The reality is - it is likely just either a bruise, pulled muscle, etc or it is a tumor in the bone or bone marrow. His last MIBG scan was 2 months ago and the reality of this disease is that it could come on that quickly. Now that he has relapsed - we have to be even more concerned that every little ache and pain is the cancer. So much for all the positiveness you guys have thanked me for! But really - I literally take things day by day. I don't know what Nathan's future holds - but I don't know anyone else's either and I can't live life worrying about it. I have done enough of that to know when it is time to worry (like waiting for results) I will, the other days I need to push it out of my mind because it isn't going to do any good or to change anything - just ruin my day.

So - we'll see what tomorrow brings...

On a different topic - Julia had a really good time at preschool today. When she came home she was so happy. She hasn't been so happy lately and so it was wonderful to see her that way and obviously a very good thing for her.

I'll update tomorrow.




Monday, August 22, 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005 7:29 PM CDT

Things continue to go well here. Nathan finished his chemo with no problems. He developed a cough this weekend that is bothering him, but otherwise is doing great.

Nathan went off to school today and seemed to have enjoyed himself. I love hearing about all the things he did and learned each day. Today he learned to write a lower-case f.

After school I took him to the clinic. His counts are good. His hemoglobin continues to be a little on the low side - but stable. His other counts are great. We should start to see the effects of the chemo on his counts late in the week. He will get them checked again on Friday. He got a full exam and the good thing was that though his cough sounds bad - his lungs are perfectly clear. This confirms our suspicions that the cough is from his allergies. Other than being skinny (he has lost a few pounds since the relapse) he looks really good. When he got out of kindergarten he ran over to me. I love seeing him break out into a spontaneous run.

So - no chemo this week - no clinic until Friday. Julia starts preschool this week. All in all it is looking to be a good week.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Friday, August 19, 2005 8:01 AM CDT

Nathan continues to handle the chemo well. He has had no more nausea, vomitting or diarrhea. He seems a little bit more tired and emotional - but that could also be from his first week of school. He has continued to have lots to tell us about his day at school and is still enjoying it.

Today is the last day of chemo and then we will take the line out of his port for the weekend. Monday he will get his counts checked at the clinic. I imagine he will also go back either Thursday or Friday too.

Julia went to her preschool orientation yesterday. She was pretty quiet and shy, but I don't think it will take too long for her to get into it. She already knows her teachers so that should help. She starts on Tuesday.

I would like to ask for some prayers for a little boy and his family who was in the same room at the ICU as Nathan in NY. He had the same surgery as Nathan - to remove his tumor and unfortunately had complications afterwards and is in very serious condition. His name is David. Sometimes we forget that all the treatments to save these kids lives are themselves so dangerous. It is very sobering.

Well - off to get Nathan ready for school...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 7:31 AM CDT

So far, so good with this chemo. Nathan did throw up yesterday morning a few times. His allergies were bad and he had a lot of mucous and was trying to cough it out and so I think he was more suceotible to vomitting. We gave him some medicine (like benedryl) that did the trick. We gave him some before the oral chemo last night and so far this morning he is fine. He did have one episone of diarrhea last night but it apprears to be isolated because there was not more afterwards. We will see how today goes.

Nathan did fine with the infusion again yesterday at the clinic and so we are set to give it at home the rest of the week. They were giving him an anti-diarrhea medicine at the clinic that cannot be given at home and so if he gets diarrhea during the infusion at home we may need to finish in the clinic.

His second day of school went well. His current problem is that they go outside to eat snack and play and he hasn't managed to eat his snack quickly enough to get to the playground. He is not a quick eater - so he will just have to prioritize I guess. I love sending him on that bus - to go off and do his own thing...he is ready for that and I am so happy for him.

Julia has her preschool orientation tomorrow and starts next Tuesday. I know she is going to LOVE it. Poor thing was trying to tell her grandparents all of Nathan's ancedotes from Kindergarten - which was making him mad. She definately needs her own thing.

The other little Gentry seems to be doing just fine. He or she is pretty active and I am enjoying feeling him or her roll and kick.

If all goes well - Nathan next goes back to the clinic on Monday for counts.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Monday, August 15, 2005 8:51 PM CDT

First day of school was a success. Yesterday our neighbor who is in the fifth grade offered to sit by Nathan on the bus and so that was really nice for Nathan. He thoroughly enjoyed riding the bus. I drove over and met the bus and left him at his classroom and went to talk to the nurse. When I left (an hour later) they were having snack outside. He was all smiles when we picked him up and said he had a good time. He also said it was kind of hard because they had to sit on the carpet alot and listen to the teacher tell them things.

His chemo went smoothly. Since he did not have any trouble during the infusion we should be able to do it at home for the end of the week. He will go back tomorrow for the chemo again just to make sure he is still handling it fine. His counts are pretty good to start the chemo. We just have no idea how hard hit they will get since he has proven to have trouble recovering them. We are also waiting to see if he gets diarrhea. I am just really hoping if he does - it can be managed with medication and he feels OK and can go to school. If he starts getting any we have to dose him every three hours (all night long too) so it would be really nice if he doesn't get any at all - but as long as he can keep up his activities with it I will be happy.

I don't think I heard him complain about pain from his incision at all today. So - that is good progress.

I put some pictures in the photo area (view photos at top and bottom of page). He didn't really want us to take any but we told him there were so many people who care about him who really want to see some.

We are so thrilled that he got to start school today. It has been my hope since he was diagnosed to get to this day and it is such a big step in Nathan's life - I am just so happy for him.