There is not much going on right now. We are just waiting for counts to go down and back up. Nathan will get them checked tomorrow. He is nervous about having hisport accessed for the first time. I am hoping it isn't too bad because a bad first experience would not be a good thing.
Luke buzzed Nathan's hair yesterday. We knew his hair was thin - but I guess I just didn't realize how thin. He practically looks bald already. Oh well - guess it is good to get used to it. Truth is he is a very cute bald kid - it was just a bit of a shock to see him that way again. He was pleased (or acted please - he definately knows how to convince himself of things) with his cut.
Emotionally - both kids are not doing great. Nathan is of course worried and so he is getting very upset and hyper-sensitive about everything. He keeps complaining that his mouth hurts (no clue what that is about - it is too soon for mouth sores) he complains he is tired and any number of other physical things. When I say complain - I don't think that really describes it - he is complaining but in a worried way. I explained to him yesterday that any things he is feeling are just normal things and not cancer things and he does not need to worry about them. He is also getting nosebleeds for some reason. His platelets are not low yet - so it is just dryness and irritation. He gets upset about them though. He has also been up in the middle of the night with "bad dreams" but he is very calm and awake and obviously waking up and being lonely and probably thinking about things in his bed.
Julia is very emotional and acting out. She has taking to just plain screaming when she gets mad. She is willfully disobediant and just obviously is upset about all the goings on. She is very perceptive and so I know she is worried about Nathan. When she is not being horrible - she is being very sweet. It is one or the other. I don't really know what to do for her. I am having to punish her for her behavior but that is hard because I try to send her to her room when she is just screaming and carrying on but she won't go and it is hard for me to pick her up and put her there.
Now - the two of them are also having plenty of fun together and being happy. Like I said before it is one extreme or the other. I have hardly the physical or emotional energy to deal with it all. Thank goodness Luke's parents will be here soon.
Nathan just came to me all upset because Julia was playing with something he wanted. He says she is making him upset. I have been trying to explain to him the last few days that it is up to him whether he gets upset about something. He just falls apart at the littlest things - it is driving me crazy.
Well - enough complaining from me I guess. I know that things could be much worse - I guess it is just an adjustment period right now.
I just wish I could do more for their emotional states - I feel very helpless.
I will update again after his appointment tomorrow.
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