Welcome to Nathan's Cancer Journey

This blog is a reposting of Nathan's Caringbridge page which we updated throughout his battle with Neuroblastoma.

Nathan was born on June 16, 2000, diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma on April 1, 2003 and died on July 29, 2007.

I have posted the journal here to make it easier to look up by date and also to be able to easily add pictures to the journal entries.

Some of the pictures go along with the text, but many of the pictures you will see were pictures taken on the same date the journal was added, even if the pictures have nothing to do with the text. In the future I may add additional journal entries to go along with pictures to add more explanation/memories.

I am just getting started posting the years of entries and so this will be incomplete for some time. I hope to eventually also post the guestbook entries by date as a comment on the post.

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Tuesday, October 4, 2005 4:16 PM CDT

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Update: Thursday October 6, 2006

I just wanted to let you know that the kids had a good visit at the dentist. I was surprised to see that when Nathan opened his mouth he had some of his 6 year molars back there behind all his shiny silver teeth! We got some good news also. They did a panoramic xray of his mouth and ALL of his permanent teeth are there! The chemo can affect formation of these teeth. His 12 year molars are just buds at this time - but they are there and growing and might at worst be a little smaller than usual. I will give the dentist credit - no comments to me about the kids brushing habits...I guess their teeth looked OK. I just have an issue with him since he pretty much rebuts that all of Nathan's decay came from chemo - when it is clearly a documented late effect of chemo and we know lots of other NB kids with the same problem.

So anyway - a good visit.


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Nathan had his counts checked yesterday. All his counts are better except his white blood count and ANC. He is still slightly neutropenic. When I say better - I mean up - no where near normal. It is looking likely that they will be high enough to start chemo on Monday so that is our curent plan. The first round Nathan had 100 mg of Temador. The second he had 120 since he seemed to tolerate the 100 so well. This time he will only have 80. His oncologist says it is much more iportant to keep on schedule with the chemo that do full-strength. By the time we start round 3 on Monday (IF counts are indeed good enough) it will have been long enough to have done 2 rounds. I was relieved to heere the doese would be smaller. I was getting worried about what it would do to Nathan this time. Each round will have a bigger effect on his counts.

We discussed scans again. There was no word from NY about what they wanted. We basically decided that there is not much of a need to do them right now since he has had different tests since relapse that have showed good numbers. So - we are just playing it by ear and will keep revisiting whether there is a need for scans and which ones. This is fine with me. For a while I was obsessed with wanting to know his cancer status. Is he NED again? Well - I realize that right now there is no reason we need to know that. He seems to be holding his own and we know that any other chemo is out of the question for him. In some ways I would rather not know that he has a little spot of something somewhere when there is nothing different we can be doing right now anyway. When it is time to scan...then we will know. It makes it hard to answer the question that every asks.."how is Nathan?" When I am asked that the quick answer is that he is doing well - because for our everyday life purposes he is. I suppose this does not give people the full picture. I imagine there are people who think he is well means his cancer is gone and he will go on to live a long life. That is highly unlikely - but of course that is what we hope for. He is doing well - but he is still battling cancer. In his day to day life - he is doing everything any other 5 year old could want to be doing and he feels well despite his very lazy bone marrow.

Nathan and Julia learned about Noah at Sunday school this week. Nathan asked Luke what causes flooding and Luke told him that lots of rain can cause flooding. Nathan said that hurricanes cause floods too. When Luke agreed, NAthan said "but God promised he would never flood the world again!" Luke assured him that meant the whole world and that the hurricane flooded some areas but not the whole thing. So Nathan responded "so he is just flooding it city by city?" We had a good chuckle out of that.

I had a good birthday. Last year the kids wanted to get me balloons and so Luke took them to the party store and they picked out presents for me there too. So - this year they thought they shoudl do the same. Luke took them and they each got me a balloon and present. Julia got me a Happy Birthday balloon and a princess bouncy ball. Nathan got be a sticky football and a heart shaped balloon with roses on it that said I Love You. His balloon choice really is an example of his personality. He is so sweet and such a little man. He thought that telling me "I Love You" on my brithday would be a really good thing to do. Luke got me an Ipod! We don't usually do much for each other on our birthdays but he said I deserved it. I am already getting very good use out of it. I forget how much listening to music lifts my spirits and with kids in the house with me I rarely get to listen to anything I want to hear.

The other parts of our week and weekend were fairly normal. I can't really think of anything that stands out. Nathan would probably say he didn't do anything fun. That is his new thing now is saying he is not having fun and looking to me to provide some. This complaint can come after a full day of doing all kinds of fun things - it doesn't matter.

So - we are clinic free the rest of the week. I am taking the kids to the dentist tomorrow afternoon. I sort of dread that because their dentist seems kind fo judgmental to me so I am sure I will be told they are not brushing well or often enough. Oh well... I see my own dentist on Thursday - she I like though.

So - that's about it! Thanks for checking in.


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